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Forgiveness Can Be Bittersweet

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❶People who are forgiving by nature are much less likely to struggle with a host of neurotic disorders, beginning with depression and anxiety and including addiction and problems with impulse control. Practice of forgiveness normally cannot be practiced by the common man for it requires practising patience to its extreme.

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We have no other remedy if we are to rise to a higher bracket in life. Every successful person in life practices forgiveness to its extreme. Whether it was Mahatma Gandhi, John F.

Kennedy or Margaret Thatcher and Bill Gates for that matter Forgiveness just cannot be preached Only then shall we be able to enjoy the fruits of practising forgiveness in present life. All the Man Gods of the yester era Mahavira , Gautama Buddha , Jesus Christ and Prophet Mohammed practiced forgiveness all the time right from a very young age. Practising forgiveness gives you an edge over your contemporary Forgiveness reduces the element of hate which follows whenever wanton desires get practiced.

Citing an example- One Yogi a renowned seeker of spirituality was one day having a bath on the edge of a swollen river which had flooded. It so happened that because of the flood one scorpion happened to float by. On seeing the plight of the scorpion that it might die Unmindful of the bite the Yogi again picked up the scorpion and again the scorpion bit his hand.

One passerby who was aware of the spiritual accomplishments of the Yogi could not contain himself and coming near to the Yogi enquired of him why he was trying to help the nasty scorpion. The reply by the Yogi made the onlooker flabbergasted. It was not to be believed for the Yogi had replied, "when this poor scorpion a much lower level of species on the plane of evolution is not able to let go of his habit of biting one What a great practitioner of compassion and forgiveness this Indian Yogi was.

In this series of posts I want to make the case for considering forgiveness as a process to embrace when you feel angry. In order to do so you need a definition of forgiveness. This definition is a good one in my opinion:. Forgiveness is a conscious, willful choice to turn away from the pain, hurt, resentment, and wish for revenge that arises from a betrayal, offense, injustice, or deep hurt.

Forgiveness involves a willingness to see the transgression and transgressor in a larger context, and to replace negative feelings with compassion and tolerance. Please note that this definition is not about the offender, and not about the offense: Forgiveness is about a change to your perspective, your point of view, and as a result of that shift a change in how you feel. Forgiveness is about finding relief, and being able to love in greater freedom. I hope that you are able to see clearly how the anger process works in you and what price you pay when you hold on to that anger toward another person.

In my first post on forgiveness I focused on anger and its consequences. Anger hurts; anger perpetuated hurts badly. The health consequences see the video link in the previous post can become catastrophic.

I believe it is important to look at anger as a sign that your body gives you to act, in the moment, to correct an injustice. If you think about it, learning to diminish your bodily anger will enable your mind to diminish its emotional reasoning, which inevitably leads to the adoption of a broader cognitive perspective. So, the first step in the forgiveness process is simply to notice when anger is arising, and adopting the intention to diminish its strength.

This is where our mindfulness practice is essential. When the body gets revved up in anger it can be very difficult to begin to relax. If you have a mindfulness practice you know that simply taking a mindful breath, perhaps with your eyes gently closed, and redirecting your anger-focused attention for a few moments to the peacefulness of your breathing can immediately help your body to stand down.

A simple mindful breath, for one who meditates regularly and has learned to be present non-judgmentally, will slow the body and the mind down to a manageable speed. With our bodies and minds moving a bit more slowly, the process of cognitive widening occurs.

Now we are able to take perspective, to see a bigger picture. We can look at the event provoking our anger and ask a few simple questions: Does this truly concern me? Has this person intentionally acted to cause pain and suffering? Can this problem be corrected? Is it MY job to correct it? Or should I let go of this and move on? The customer service representative who treats you rudely. The boss who criticizes you publicly. I could go on and on, but I think you get the picture.

We can spin our wheels and expend a lot of energy being the arbiter of justice, and God knows there are plenty of opportunities, if we so choose, to act as judge and jury. But in this world of small annoyances, what good does this really do for you? Has your day gotten better because you were able to tell the customer service representative what a jerk he is?

Or told stories about your boss behind her back to make her look foolish? Or made your child feel small and powerless by exacting punishment for every mistake he makes? It requires that you work at it, work that, in my opinion, is very spiritual work.

Instead, to act toward that person in kindness, with compassion, to demonstrate your caring and concern for them, over and above yourself. Forgiveness is a virtue but the way people perceive it is quite relative. Some people think that certain actions are forgivable while others are not. Some people think that forgiveness encourages the wrongdoer to perform ill deeds repeatedly. Forgiveness is subjective and the act of forgiveness can have many meanings.

Acceptance of apology may be forgiveness for some, while helping the other who hurt you to get out of the habit of ill-treatment may be a way for others. We all make mistakes. So when we learn to forgive others, we can also seek forgiveness when we commit follies. Also if we are able to forgive others, we also learn to forgive ourselves in situations of self-guilt. Thus the virtue of forgiveness helps us come out of the feeling of self blame.

If we fail to forgive ourselves in time, we often end up realizing that others had forgiven us long back, but we kept feeling bad about ourselves all this time.

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Forgiveness is the act of overcoming the feeling of resentment or revenge for the person who has done wrong actions. Forgiveness is a virtue but the way people perceive it is quite relative. Some people think that certain actions are forgivable while others are not.

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forgiveness essaysDiscovering life purposes seems inevitable, in all cases, to come to grips with our past. We build up negative issues in our past and need to clear the clutter out in order to grow. I call this clearing process "Forgiveness".

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Free Essays on The Crucible: Forgiveness - The Crucible – Forgiveness The Healing Power Of Forgiveness - The Gift of Reconciliation "The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is . Forgiveness is a conscious, willful choice to turn away from the pain, hurt, resentment, and wish for revenge that arises from a betrayal, offense, injustice, or deep hurt. Forgiveness involves a willingness to see the transgression and transgressor in a larger context, and to replace negative feelings with compassion and tolerance.

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Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 24 (5): Summary The article "Self-forgiveness: The forgotten stepchild of forgiveness research" is a qualitative rather than a quantitative study of the phenomenon of self-forgiveness. For instance, we say in the Creed " I believe in the forgiveness of sins." I had been saying it for several years before I asked myself why it was in the Creed.